hey guys! d: hi p: so, this is the last video i will ever film in this room! d: i thought that was just gonna be ever. p: ever. d: i'm ascending to another dimension. p: *dramatic music* d: none of us would be surprised if you were an alien, phil. p: hey!
d: they've read the title, they know what you're about to say. p: you know what i'm about to say both: we're moving out! p: yay! d: that sounded very happy. they're probably like, "why?" p: we are happy! d: this london apartment... d: how long have we lived here? p: i think we've lived here for five years. d: that's disgusting.
p: that's half a decade of someone's life. d: don't say the word decade. p: i'm sorry. d: that's just-- p: it's such a long passage of time! d: just in this apartment?! p: we're slowly dying! p: i mean look what we looked like when we moved in. p: *laughs* look at my hair! we look so different. d: we do.
p: you look half fetus-y. d: i look full of life. p: what's happened to us? p: we're dead behind the eyes now. d: i mean, did i ever have a soul? p: um, no. d: it's been our home, d: we filmed all our videos here-- p: why did my brain just go to toilet? it's been our home, it's been-- both: our toilet...
d: yes. p: it's been our home, it's been our work, it's been our life, we've hardly gone outside, so we've spent a lot of hours in this building. d: it's been our hamster cage for the last five years, but now it is time to leave. p: yes! d: why, phil? p: to go to a slightly bigger hamster cage! d: you could say that we've outgrown this place, p: yeah. we've- d: slash-- there's several reasons why we're desperate to leave as soon as possible. p: first of all there's too much stuff that we own!
d: we have so much stuff... p: to fit into this place with one storage cupboard. d: this apartment has no storage and we have so much ~miscellaneous sh*t~ p: for example, what's on my floor right now? p: the giant dil head from tatinof! p: it's so scary, you just wake up in the night and it's like *dun duh dun duh duh dun* d: and also... hmmm... d: some-- some crates.
p: what even are those crates? they've got flower crowns inside. what's happening? d: really, we could just move into a giant storage facility, (p: we could!) and that would fulfill all our needs. p: i've always found those so mysterious, like what is in every different cupboard? i wish i could see. d: i'm up for minimalism, you know. p: minimalism? d: i could just throw away all of my posessions. p: no, you need some knickknacks! d: let's just set fire to the apartment, that's the way to do it. p: that'd be a lot easier than moving out...
d: dan is on fire d: i'm freeee! p: ahhhhhhh p: reason two, is we are being penetrated by noise from three angles! it's like we're under attack *crickets* d: really? p: what? p: we are, it's like, it's got penetrating my brain. d: phil, you just says that we're being penetrated from three angles. p: by noise!
*vigorous drilling* p: listen to that! *more vigorous drilling* p: tell me that's not drilling into your brain right now. d: it is. *drilling sound* p: so, behind me we've got mr. drillerson, who has been drilling for two years! p: drilllll *more drilling* d: two years! p: it just never ends! d: and all day... every day
*drilling sound* both: ehhhhhhhhh sometimes, i'll be having a wonderful dream, frolicking with a celebrity, and then some guy in a hive is jacking up to go-- both: ahhhhhh d: *laughs* p: ruining all of my fantasies. d: on the front of the house, there's a really busy road. *cars* d: guess the crime. when am i filming a video without like: d: *car sounds* d: or a bus just going: *bus sounds* p: it's so loud. p: i swear the ambulances look up and go, "oh, it's dan and phil's flat, switch on the button!"
d: "i think danisnotonfire is about to film a video." *ambulance sounds* d: in london, that does happen at 3 a.m. p: yeah. d: nothing makes you panic more than a police siren going off at three o'clock, d: outside your house. p: i just think it's babies being born, a lot. high birth rates. p: and the next thing, is we have the thinnest walls of all time! p: they must be made out of rice paper. do you know that paper you can eat?
d: our walls are edible! p: they are. d: they are so thin, people. d: from downstairs, we have the strange noises. *groan* p: yeah. d: from the left, we have a phone that goes off all the time. *ringing* p: yeah, and the-- d: they never answer it! p: no! there's a movie of someone trying to ring their long-lost lover, and p: they're not there. stop ringing!
d: and then we think that through the wall from our gaming channel is our neighbour's bedroom, p: yeah. d: but we haven't heard anything from them... d: well, that might be because we film the gaming videos there, and we're screaming all the time at 4 a.m. p: yeah. d: ...to them, we are the noise... p: we are the noise... p: everyone's going to be having a party when we leave... d: the drill people will be like, d: "woop woop!" d: "we can stop now!"
d: "we've driven dan and phil out of the neighbourhood!" p: sometimes our neighbour will just ride past on a bus while drilling into the air p: for the ultimate trifecta of noise! d: it's too much, okay? it's too much! d: we're going insane. p: the final reason, is the house is literally falling apart. d: it's-- any day now... d: it's just gonna implode fully-- there's cracks in d: basically every room.
d: we'll show you some clips right now. p: this one in the corner of my room waiting to get me! d: *laughs* w-- up the wall, into the ceiling! d: i'm a big fan of this one in my bedroom look at-- d: oh, yep, yep, yep, yep d: yep, yep, yep-- boom d: i mean, if that's not a chandelier ready to fall on dan's head while he's filming a video, i don't know what is. p: that one's a big one, dan. ooo nice wow that looks like the whole-
the ceiling has a dip. ph...phil, look - the ceiling, there-p: what? i've never noticed that we're gonna die also, we have the infamous gas leak incident that could return at any time.d: that was really fun. also the internet is terrible. i don't know if we've complained about that--p: â™« the internet is terrible â™«the internet doesn't work fact: this building used to be a bank, so i think they've still got the metal vault walls in between our rooms. the thing is, london is a very old city. it has lots of culture--but when a building was made in 1810, it's probably not meant for modern life - (i don't think it is!) - which is what we've realized.so those are the main reasons why we think we have to get out of--p: also the mice! we never spoke about the mice! we had a whole family of mice living here for a while.d: that's happened a few times--again, old building, london--
there's just holes--lickin' the floorboards, tasting like wood thankfully we're not afraid of mice. p: no, i kind of hope we get mice in the new place. (d: they're kind of cute) in a "i'm gonna give you a disease but i wanna stroke you" kind of way why don't we go on a little tour of the house and reminisce on some things?d: ok sure, let's go on one final walk through the london apartment. phil, talk to us about the bedroom. p: well, one thing i'm not going to miss is this wicker bed! i hate it so much! d: that was like one of the only things the previous guy left here and phil was like "ok this is my life now" p: why would anyone buy this?! p: and it's so awful as well. like, look at the slats. look at that.that is what i'm sleeping on.d: how did you even do that?!
i don't know - it just falls apart! d: what about this, phil? my trusty chest! this is my props box. this has everything that's ever been in one of my videos. look at this! the anime video--d: this is just making me panic. d: ah yes, a giant snake. p: i should wear these pikachu ears more. i will miss the high ceilings though it's always been a competition between me and dan, if we can jump and touch it.d: go ahead, phil. p: ready? d: yepp: wooo nearly. wait, wait, wait...
p: yes d: nice. p: power jump. sorry people that like tidiness...what about you, dan? d: i mean, i like that there was this old haunted piano in my bedroom it was always out of tune - it never worked but it just looked really cool and made me seem like an intelligent person who owned a piano so i felt like i need to get another one.p: please tell me you're not taking the butt chair. phil, of course i am. this video background is coming with me. i cannot get rid of this black desk. i feel like it's an opportunity to add some more stuff what do you think my video background needs? p: i think it needs more houseplants.
a plant? ok, that's phil's request. *scoff* and it's finally time to see what is in dan's secret under bed drawer! no- no, i haven't... packed that yet... now it's like - whatever their imagining is worse than- -just stop filming. p: will you miss this hallway, dan? d: i mean, where else will i lie to contemplate death? it's just such a perfect, long, bleak corridor to lie face-down on. p: i don't know! oh look! it's my favourite glass nemesis! d: oh! the best addition to any home
we've only walked into that thousands of times...p: it's given me many new brain cells. d: ah look, we're filming some baking videos- shut up! the sofa creasep: we're keeping the sofa crease! d: i mean, it's destroying my spine but it's just too iconic to leave.p: it's so important! something i'm definitely not gonna miss is this coffee table.d: oh my god... p: these corners have carved so many holes in my shin. d: f*ck this- you can actually see dents where we've walked into the edge, like that- that edge there has literally been rounded by phil's shin.
oh look, a bit of green paint that's splattered on the floor. p: i don't know why that would be there dan is in the chair he's fallen off 17 times. d: don't worry, we're keeping the chair that will cause my death. this room is a terrible room for a gaming channel to be in. appreciate the slanted wall- d: yes, that's why our videos look so ugly i am not convinced that the neighbours can't see through that.p: they have definitely seen a lot of butts. sorry. this house has so many stairsd: oh my god
p: i will not miss this.d: it never finishes. p: seriously, if we order a takeaway (take-out) this is how many stairs you have to walk down to get to the front door 47 steps! *grunt* i'm just gonna die nowd: to be fair, it is the only exercise we get- -so it'll be interesting to see how we live without them. so we are staying in london and keeping most of our stuff, we're just going to a place with more space! d: and less drills. p: hopefully.
it's funny because everyone we've spoken to, and we imagine, you guys, are like: "what? no! we love the apartment!" "oh, it's so cute- oh you must be so sad!" we're like: "what? no. get us the hell out of here as soon as possible." we couldn't be less emotional about leaving this place. p: especially before summer: we've got no air conditioning, so it's just like, a sweaty sauna. d: are you sad at all?p: i mean, i always have a bit of nostalgia for things but because i'm taking all my stuff, i'm not really that sad.d: it's like all the stuff you like in a safer building. it has been a good hamster cage to us over the years, though. (d: it has worked quite well.) remember when we moved in? we had no furniture for like 3 months. we were just sitting on boxes.
p: how are we gonna do this? so don't be sad- videos are still gonna continue as normal, if you bear with us to set up the new locations... oh, yeah, there might be a couple ugly intermediate weeks... it's gonna be really weird, because this new place is going to look exactly the same, just in a different building. like an alternate dimension where dan and phil havemore storage... -now for the final time from this ugly wicker bed (d: such an ugly bed) p: give this a ðÿ‘thumbs upðÿ‘ in memory of the london apartment *dan singing in the background* p: check out dan's by clicking his bubble, you can click on my bubble to subscribe to my channel, and i will see you in the new place!