chapter i. down the rabbit-hole alice was beginning to get very tired ofsitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she hadpeeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the useof a book,' thought alice 'without pictures or conversation?' so she was considering in her own mind (aswell as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether thepleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking
the daisies, when suddenly a white rabbitwith pink eyes ran close by her. there was nothing so very remarkable inthat; nor did alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the rabbit say toitself, 'oh dear! oh dear! i shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, itoccurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it allseemed quite natural); but when the rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat- pocket, and looked at it, and then hurriedon, alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had neverbefore seen a rabbit with either a
waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ranacross the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a largerabbit-hole under the hedge. in another moment down went alice after it,never once considering how in the world she was to get out again. the rabbit-hole went straight on like atunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that alice hadnot a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself fallingdown a very deep well. either the well was very deep, or she fellvery slowly, for she had plenty of time as
she went down to look about her and towonder what was going to happen next. first, she tried to look down and make outwhat she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked at thesides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book- shelves; here and there she saw maps andpictures hung upon pegs. she took down a jar from one of the shelvesas she passed; it was labelled 'orange marmalade', but to her great disappointmentit was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboardsas she fell past it.
'well!' thought alice to herself, 'aftersuch a fall as this, i shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! how brave they'll all think me at home!why, i wouldn't say anything about it, even if i fell off the top of the house!'(which was very likely true.) down, down, down. would the fall never come to an end!'i wonder how many miles i've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.'i must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. let me see: that would be four thousandmiles down, i think--' (for, you see, alice
had learnt several things of this sort inher lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was noone to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) '--yes, that'sabout the right distance--but then i wonder what latitude or longitude i've got to?' (alice had no idea what latitude was, orlongitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)presently she began again. 'i wonder if i shall fall right through theearth! how funny it'll seem to come out among thepeople that walk with their heads downward!
the antipathies, i think--' (she was ratherglad there was no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word)'--but i shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. please, ma'am, is this new zealand oraustralia?' (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy curtseying as you're falling through the air! do you think you could manage it?)'and what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking!no, it'll never do to ask: perhaps i shall see it written up somewhere.'
down, down, down.there was nothing else to do, so alice soon began talking again.'dinah'll miss me very much to-night, i should think!' (dinah was the cat.)'i hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time.dinah my dear! i wish you were down here with me! there are no mice in the air, i'm afraid,but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.but do cats eat bats, i wonder?' and here alice began to get rather sleepy,and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy
sort of way, 'do cats eat bats?do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as shecouldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. she felt that she was dozing off, and hadjust begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with dinah, and saying to hervery earnestly, 'now, dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upona heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped upon to her feet in a moment: she looked up,
but it was all dark overhead; before herwas another long passage, and the white rabbit was still in sight, hurrying downit. there was not a moment to be lost: awaywent alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner,'oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!' she was close behind it when she turned thecorner, but the rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, lowhall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof. there were doors all round the hall, butthey were all locked; and when alice had
been all the way down one side and up theother, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was everto get out again. suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tinygolden key, and alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks weretoo large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. however, on the second time round, she cameupon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little doorabout fifteen inches high: she tried the
little golden key in the lock, and to hergreat delight it fitted! alice opened the door and found that it ledinto a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked alongthe passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. how she longed to get out of that darkhall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains,but she could not even get her head through the doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor alice, 'it would beof very little use without my shoulders. oh, how i wish i could shut up like atelescope!
i think i could, if i only know how tobegin.' for, you see, so many out-of-the-way thingshad happened lately, that alice had begun to think that very few things indeed werereally impossible. there seemed to be no use in waiting by thelittle door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key onit, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it,('which certainly was not here before,' said alice,) and round the neck of thebottle was a paper label, with the words 'drink me' beautifully printed on it inlarge letters.
it was all very well to say 'drink me,' butthe wise little alice was not going to do that in a hurry. 'no, i'll look first,' she said, 'and seewhether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice little historiesabout children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they would not rememberthe simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker willburn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had neverforgotten that, if you drink much from a
bottle marked 'poison,' it is almostcertain to disagree with you, sooner or later. however, this bottle was not marked'poison,' so alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact,a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soonfinished it off. 'what a curious feeling!' said alice; 'imust be shutting up like a telescope.' and so it was indeed: she was now only teninches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right sizefor going through the little door into that
lovely garden. first, however, she waited for a fewminutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervousabout this; 'for it might end, you know,' said alice to herself, 'in my going outaltogether, like a candle. i wonder what i should be like then?' and she tried to fancy what the flame of acandle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever havingseen such a thing. after a while, finding that nothing morehappened, she decided on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor alice!when she got to the door, she found she had
forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, shefound she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through theglass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had tiredherself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried. 'come, there's no use in crying like that!'said alice to herself, rather sharply; 'i advise you to leave off this minute!' she generally gave herself very goodadvice, (though she very seldom followed
it), and sometimes she scolded herself soseverely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in agame of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was veryfond of pretending to be two people. 'but it's no use now,' thought poor alice,'to pretend to be two people! why, there's hardly enough of me left tomake one respectable person!' soon her eye fell on a little glass boxthat was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, onwhich the words 'eat me' were beautifully marked in currants.
'well, i'll eat it,' said alice, 'and if itmakes me grow larger, i can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, i cancreep under the door; so either way i'll get into the garden, and i don't care whichhappens!' she ate a little bit, and said anxiously toherself, 'which way? which way?', holding her hand on the top ofher head to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find thatshe remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but alice had got so much into the way ofexpecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull andstupid for life to go on in the common way.
so she set to work, and very soon finishedoff the cake. > chapter ii. the pool of tears 'curiouser and curiouser!' cried alice (shewas so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak goodenglish); 'now i'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked downat her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). 'oh, my poor little feet, i wonder who willput on your shoes and stockings for you
now, dears?i'm sure i shan't be able! i shall be a great deal too far off totrouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but i must be kindto them,' thought alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way i want to go! let me see: i'll give them a new pair ofboots every christmas.' and she went on planning to herself how shewould manage it. 'they must go by the carrier,' she thought;'and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own feet!and how odd the directions will look! alice's right foot, esq.hearthrug,
near the fender,(with alice's love). oh dear, what nonsense i'm talking!' just then her head struck against the roofof the hall: in fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up thelittle golden key and hurried off to the garden door. poor alice! it was as much as she could do,lying down on one side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to getthrough was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. 'you ought to be ashamed of yourself,' saidalice, 'a great girl like you,' (she might
well say this), 'to go on crying in thisway! stop this moment, i tell you!' but she went on all the same, sheddinggallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches deepand reaching half down the hall. after a time she heard a little patteringof feet in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. it was the white rabbit returning,splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan inthe other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as hecame, 'oh! the duchess, the duchess!
oh! won't she be savage if i've kept herwaiting!' alice felt so desperate that she was readyto ask help of any one; so, when the rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timidvoice, 'if you please, sir--' the rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away intothe darkness as hard as he could go. alice took up the fan and gloves, and, asthe hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:'dear, dear! how queer everything is to-day! and yesterday things went on just as usual.i wonder if i've been changed in the night?
let me think: was i the same when i got upthis morning? i almost think i can remember feeling alittle different. but if i'm not the same, the next questionis, who in the world am i? ah, that's the great puzzle!' and she began thinking over all thechildren she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have beenchanged for any of them. 'i'm sure i'm not ada,' she said, 'for herhair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and i'm surei can't be mabel, for i know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a verylittle!
besides, she's she, and i'm i, and--ohdear, how puzzling it all is! i'll try if i know all the things i used toknow. let me see: four times five is twelve, andfour times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! i shall never get to twenty at that rate!however, the multiplication table doesn't signify: let's try geography. london is the capital of paris, and parisis the capital of rome, and rome--no, that's all wrong, i'm certain!i must have been changed for mabel! i'll try and say "how doth the little--"'and she crossed her hands on her lap as if
she were saying lessons, and began torepeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come thesame as they used to do:-- 'how doth the little crocodileimprove his shining tail, and pour the waters of the nileon every golden scale! 'how cheerfully he seems to grin,how neatly spread his claws, and welcome little fishes inwith gently smiling jaws!' 'i'm sure those are not the right words,'said poor alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, 'i must bemabel after all, and i shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have
next to no toys to play with, and oh! everso many lessons to learn! no, i've made up my mind about it; if i'mmabel, i'll stay down here! it'll be no use their putting their headsdown and saying "come up again, dear!" i shall only look up and say "who am ithen? tell me that first, and then, if i likebeing that person, i'll come up: if not, i'll stay down here till i'm somebodyelse"--but, oh dear!' cried alice, with a sudden burst of tears, 'i do wish theywould put their heads down! i am so very tired of being all alonehere!' as she said this she looked down at herhands, and was surprised to see that she
had put on one of the rabbit's little whitekid gloves while she was talking. 'how can i have done that?' she thought. 'i must be growing small again.' she got up and went to the table to measureherself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feethigh, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and shedropped it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. 'that was a narrow escape!' said alice, agood deal frightened at the sudden change,
but very glad to find herself still inexistence; 'and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shutagain, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as before, 'and thingsare worse than ever,' thought the poor child, 'for i never was so small as thisbefore, never! and i declare it's too bad, that it is!' as she said these words her foot slipped,and in another moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. her first idea was that she had somehowfallen into the sea, 'and in that case i
can go back by railway,' she said toherself. (alice had been to the seaside once in herlife, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go to on theenglish coast you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a rowof lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) however, she soon made out that she was inthe pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high. 'i wish i hadn't cried so much!' saidalice, as she swam about, trying to find
her way out.'i shall be punished for it now, i suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! that will be a queer thing, to be sure!however, everything is queer to-day.' just then she heard something splashingabout in the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: atfirst she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made outthat it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.'would it be of any use, now,' thought alice, 'to speak to this mouse?
everything is so out-of-the-way down here,that i should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm intrying.' so she began: 'o mouse, do you know the wayout of this pool? i am very tired of swimming about here, omouse!' (alice thought this must be the right wayof speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but she rememberedhaving seen in her brother's latin grammar, 'a mouse--of a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--o mouse!') the mouse looked at her ratherinquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but it saidnothing.
'perhaps it doesn't understand english,'thought alice; 'i daresay it's a french mouse, come over with william theconqueror.' (for, with all her knowledge of history,alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) so she began again: 'ou est ma chatte?'which was the first sentence in her french lesson-book. the mouse gave a sudden leap out of thewater, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'oh, i beg your pardon!' cried alicehastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor
animal's feelings.'i quite forgot you didn't like cats.' 'not like cats!' cried the mouse, in ashrill, passionate voice. 'would you like cats if you were me?''well, perhaps not,' said alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry about it. and yet i wish i could show you our catdinah: i think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. she is such a dear quiet thing,' alice wenton, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring sonicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and she is such a nice
soft thing to nurse--and she's such acapital one for catching mice--oh, i beg your pardon!' cried alice again, for thistime the mouse was bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be reallyoffended. 'we won't talk about her any more if you'drather not.' 'we indeed!' cried the mouse, who wastrembling down to the end of his tail. 'as if i would talk on such a subject!our family always hated cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! don't let me hear the name again!''i won't indeed!' said alice, in a great hurry to change the subject ofconversation.
'are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' the mouse did not answer, so alice went oneagerly: 'there is such a nice little dog near our house i should like to show you!a little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! and it'll fetch things when you throw them,and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--i can't rememberhalf of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it'sworth a hundred pounds! he says it kills all the rats and--ohdear!' cried alice in a sorrowful tone, 'i'm afraid i've offended it again!'
for the mouse was swimming away from her ashard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.so she called softly after it, 'mouse dear! do come back again, and we won't talk aboutcats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' when the mouse heard this, it turned roundand swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, alice thought),and it said in a low trembling voice, 'let us get to the shore, and then i'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why it isi hate cats and dogs.' it was high time to go, for the pool wasgetting quite crowded with the birds and
animals that had fallen into it: there werea duck and a dodo, a lory and an eaglet, and several other curious creatures. alice led the way, and the whole party swamto the shore. chapter iii. a caucus-race and a long tale they were indeed a queer-looking party thatassembled on the bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with theirfur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. the first question of course was, how toget dry again: they had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes itseemed quite natural to alice to find
herself talking familiarly with them, as ifshe had known them all her life. indeed, she had quite a long argument withthe lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'i am older than you, andmust know better'; and this alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the lory positively refused to tell itsage, there was no more to be said. at last the mouse, who seemed to be aperson of authority among them, called out, 'sit down, all of you, and listen to me! i'll soon make you dry enough!'they all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the mouse in the middle.
alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it,for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.'ahem!' said the mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? this is the driest thing i know.silence all round, if you please! "william the conqueror, whose cause wasfavoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the english, who wanted leaders, and hadbeen of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. edwin and morcar, the earls of mercia andnorthumbria--"' 'ugh!' said the lory, with a shiver.
'i beg your pardon!' said the mouse,frowning, but very politely: 'did you speak?''not i!' said the lory hastily. 'i thought you did,' said the mouse. '--i proceed."edwin and morcar, the earls of mercia and northumbria, declared for him: and evenstigand, the patriotic archbishop of canterbury, found it advisable--"' 'found what?' said the duck.'found it,' the mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what "it"means.' 'i know what "it" means well enough, when ifind a thing,' said the duck: 'it's
generally a frog or a worm.the question is, what did the archbishop find?' the mouse did not notice this question, buthurriedly went on, '"--found it advisable to go with edgar atheling to meet williamand offer him the crown. william's conduct at first was moderate. but the insolence of his normans--" how areyou getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to alice as it spoke. 'as wet as ever,' said alice in amelancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to dry me at all.'
'in that case,' said the dodo solemnly,rising to its feet, 'i move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoptionof more energetic remedies--' 'speak english!' said the eaglet. 'i don't know the meaning of half thoselong words, and, what's more, i don't believe you do either!' and the eaglet bent down its head to hide asmile: some of the other birds tittered audibly. 'what i was going to say,' said the dodo inan offended tone, 'was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a caucus-race.'
'what is a caucus-race?' said alice; notthat she wanted much to know, but the dodo had paused as if it thought that somebodyought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. 'why,' said the dodo, 'the best way toexplain it is to do it.' (and, as you might like to try the thingyourself, some winter day, i will tell you how the dodo managed it.) first it marked out a race-course, in asort of circle, ('the exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the partywere placed along the course, here and there.
there was no 'one, two, three, and away,'but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it wasnot easy to know when the race was over. however, when they had been running half anhour or so, and were quite dry again, the dodo suddenly called out 'the race isover!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, 'but who has won?' this question the dodo could not answerwithout a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressedupon its forehead (the position in which you usually see shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited insilence.
at last the dodo said, 'everybody has won,and all must have prizes.' 'but who is to give the prizes?' quite achorus of voices asked. 'why, she, of course,' said the dodo,pointing to alice with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,calling out in a confused way, 'prizes! prizes!' alice had no idea what to do, and indespair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily thesalt water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. there was exactly one a-piece all round.'but she must have a prize herself, you
know,' said the mouse.'of course,' the dodo replied very gravely. 'what else have you got in your pocket?' hewent on, turning to alice. 'only a thimble,' said alice sadly.'hand it over here,' said the dodo. then they all crowded round her once more,while the dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying 'we beg your acceptance ofthis elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they allcheered. alice thought the whole thing very absurd,but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could notthink of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn asshe could.
the next thing was to eat the comfits: thiscaused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could nottaste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. however, it was over at last, and they satdown again in a ring, and begged the mouse to tell them something more. 'you promised to tell me your history, youknow,' said alice, 'and why it is you hate- -c and d,' she added in a whisper, halfafraid that it would be offended again. 'mine is a long and a sad tale!' said themouse, turning to alice, and sighing. 'it is a long tail, certainly,' said alice,looking down with wonder at the mouse's
tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' and she kept on puzzling about it while themouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:-- 'fury said to amouse, that he met in thehouse, "let us both go tolaw: i will prosecuteyou.--come, i'll take no
denial; wemust have a trial: forreally this morning i've nothingto do." said themouse to the cur, "such a trial,dear sir, withno jury or judge,
would bewasting ourbreath." "i'll be judge, i'llbe jury," saidcunning old fury: "i'lltry the wholecause, and
condemnyou todeath."' 'you are not attending!' said the mouse toalice severely. 'what are you thinking of?' 'i beg your pardon,' said alice veryhumbly: 'you had got to the fifth bend, i think?''i had not!' cried the mouse, sharply and very angrily. 'a knot!' said alice, always ready to makeherself useful, and looking anxiously about her.'oh, do let me help to undo it!'
'i shall do nothing of the sort,' said themouse, getting up and walking away. 'you insult me by talking such nonsense!''i didn't mean it!' pleaded poor alice. 'but you're so easily offended, you know!' the mouse only growled in reply.'please come back and finish your story!' alice called after it; and the others alljoined in chorus, 'yes, please do!' but the mouse only shook its head impatiently, andwalked a little quicker. 'what a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed thelory, as soon as it was quite out of sight; and an old crab took the opportunity ofsaying to her daughter 'ah, my dear! let this be a lesson to you never to loseyour temper!'
'hold your tongue, ma!' said the youngcrab, a little snappishly. 'you're enough to try the patience of anoyster!' 'i wish i had our dinah here, i know i do!'said alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. 'she'd soon fetch it back!''and who is dinah, if i might venture to ask the question?' said the lory. alice replied eagerly, for she was alwaysready to talk about her pet: 'dinah's our cat.and she's such a capital one for catching mice you can't think!
and oh, i wish you could see her after thebirds! why, she'll eat a little bird as soon aslook at it!' this speech caused a remarkable sensationamong the party. some of the birds hurried off at once: oneold magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'i really must begetting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, 'comeaway, my dears! it's high time you were all in bed!'on various pretexts they all moved off, and alice was soon left alone.
'i wish i hadn't mentioned dinah!' she saidto herself in a melancholy tone. 'nobody seems to like her, down here, andi'm sure she's the best cat in the world! oh, my dear dinah! i wonder if i shall ever see you any more!'and here poor alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. in a little while, however, she again hearda little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, halfhoping that the mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story. chapter iv. the rabbit sends in a littlebill
it was the white rabbit, trotting slowlyback again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; andshe heard it muttering to itself 'the duchess! the duchess!oh my dear paws! oh my fur and whiskers!she'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! where can i have dropped them, i wonder?' alice guessed in a moment that it waslooking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedlybegan hunting about for them, but they were
nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool,and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, had vanishedcompletely. very soon the rabbit noticed alice, as shewent hunting about, and called out to her in an angry tone, 'why, mary ann, what areyou doing out here? run home this moment, and fetch me a pairof gloves and a fan! quick, now!' and alice was so much frightened that sheran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistakeit had made.
'he took me for his housemaid,' she said toherself as she ran. 'how surprised he'll be when he finds outwho i am! but i'd better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if i can find them.' as she said this, she came upon a neatlittle house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name 'w. rabbit' engraved upon it. she went in without knocking, and hurriedupstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real mary ann, and be turned outof the house before she had found the fan and gloves.
'how queer it seems,' alice said toherself, 'to be going messages for a rabbit!i suppose dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' and she began fancying the sort of thingthat would happen: '"miss alice! come here directly, and get ready for yourwalk!" "coming in a minute, nurse! but i've got to see that the mouse doesn'tget out." only i don't think,' alice went on, 'thatthey'd let dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people about like that!'
by this time she had found her way into atidy little room with a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fanand two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave theroom, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. there was no label this time with the words'drink me,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. 'i know something interesting is sure tohappen,' she said to herself, 'whenever i eat or drink anything; so i'll just seewhat this bottle does.
i do hope it'll make me grow large again,for really i'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' it did so indeed, and much sooner than shehad expected: before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing againstthe ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. she hastily put down the bottle, saying toherself 'that's quite enough--i hope i shan't grow any more--as it is, i can't getout at the door--i do wish i hadn't drunk quite so much!' alas! it was too late to wish that!
she went on growing, and growing, and verysoon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there was not even room forthis, and she tried the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, andthe other arm curled round her head. still she went on growing, and, as a lastresource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, andsaid to herself 'now i can do no more, whatever happens. what will become of me?' luckily for alice, the little magic bottlehad now had its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable,and, as there seemed to be no sort of
chance of her ever getting out of the roomagain, no wonder she felt unhappy. 'it was much pleasanter at home,' thoughtpoor alice, 'when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered aboutby mice and rabbits. i almost wish i hadn't gone down thatrabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life!i do wonder what can have happened to me! when i used to read fairy-tales, i fanciedthat kind of thing never happened, and now here i am in the middle of one!there ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! and when i grow up, i'll write one--but i'mgrown up now,' she added in a sorrowful
tone; 'at least there's no room to grow upany more here.' 'but then,' thought alice, 'shall i neverget any older than i am now? that'll be a comfort, one way--never to bean old woman--but then--always to have lessons to learn! oh, i shouldn't like that!''oh, you foolish alice!' she answered herself.'how can you learn lessons in here? why, there's hardly room for you, and noroom at all for any lesson-books!' and so she went on, taking first one sideand then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after afew minutes she heard a voice outside, and
stopped to listen. 'mary ann!mary ann!' said the voice. 'fetch me my gloves this moment!'then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. alice knew it was the rabbit coming to lookfor her, and she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she wasnow about a thousand times as large as the rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid ofit. presently the rabbit came up to the door,and tried to open it; but, as the door opened inwards, and alice's elbow waspressed hard against it, that attempt
proved a failure. alice heard it say to itself 'then i'll goround and get in at the window.' 'that you won't' thought alice, and, afterwaiting till she fancied she heard the rabbit just under the window, she suddenlyspread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. she did not get hold of anything, but sheheard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which sheconcluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or somethingof the sort. next came an angry voice--the rabbit's--'pat!
pat! where are you?'and then a voice she had never heard before, 'sure then i'm here!digging for apples, yer honour!' 'digging for apples, indeed!' said therabbit angrily. 'here!come and help me out of this!' (sounds of more broken glass.) 'now tell me, pat, what's that in thewindow?' 'sure, it's an arm, yer honour!'(he pronounced it 'arrum.') 'an arm, you goose!
who ever saw one that size?why, it fills the whole window!' 'sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an armfor all that.' 'well, it's got no business there, at anyrate: go and take it away!' there was a long silence after this, andalice could only hear whispers now and then; such as, 'sure, i don't like it, yerhonour, at all, at all!' 'do as i tell you, you coward!' and at lastshe spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in the air.this time there were two little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'what a number of cucumber-frames theremust be!' thought alice.
'i wonder what they'll do next!as for pulling me out of the window, i only wish they could! i'm sure i don't want to stay in here anylonger!' she waited for some time without hearinganything more: at last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a goodmany voices all talking together: she made out the words: 'where's the other ladder? --why, i hadn't to bring but one; bill'sgot the other--bill! fetch it here, lad! --here, put 'em up at this corner--no, tie'em together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--oh! they'll do wellenough; don't be particular--here, bill!
catch hold of this rope--will the roofbear? --mind that loose slate--oh, it's comingdown! heads below!' (a loud crash)--'now, who did that?--it was bill, i fancy--who's to go down the chimney?--nay, i shan't! you do it! --that i won't, then!--bill's to go down--here, bill! the master says you're to go down the chimney!''oh! so bill's got to come down the chimney, hashe?' said alice to herself.
'shy, they seem to put everything uponbill! i wouldn't be in bill's place for a gooddeal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but i think i can kick a little!' she drew her foot as far down the chimneyas she could, and waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of whatsort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself 'this is bill,' she gaveone sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. the first thing she heard was a generalchorus of 'there goes bill!' then the
rabbit's voice along--'catch him, you bythe hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--'hold up his head-- brandy now--don't choke him--how was it,old fellow? what happened to you?tell us all about it!' last came a little feeble, squeaking voice,('that's bill,' thought alice,) 'well, i hardly know--no more, thank ye; i'm betternow--but i'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all i know is, something comes at me like a jack-in-the-box, and up i goes likea sky-rocket!' 'so you did, old fellow!' said the others.
'we must burn the house down!' said therabbit's voice; and alice called out as loud as she could, 'if you do.i'll set dinah at you!' there was a dead silence instantly, andalice thought to herself, 'i wonder what they will do next!if they had any sense, they'd take the roof off.' after a minute or two, they began movingabout again, and alice heard the rabbit say, 'a barrowful will do, to begin with.' 'a barrowful of what?' thought alice; butshe had not long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles camerattling in at the window, and some of them
hit her in the face. 'i'll put a stop to this,' she said toherself, and shouted out, 'you'd better not do that again!' which produced another deadsilence. alice noticed with some surprise that thepebbles were all turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright ideacame into her head. 'if i eat one of these cakes,' she thought,'it's sure to make some change in my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, itmust make me smaller, i suppose.' so she swallowed one of the cakes, and wasdelighted to find that she began shrinking directly.
as soon as she was small enough to getthrough the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animalsand birds waiting outside. the poor little lizard, bill, was in themiddle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of abottle. they all made a rush at alice the momentshe appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in athick wood. 'the first thing i've got to do,' saidalice to herself, as she wandered about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right sizeagain; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.
i think that will be the best plan.' it sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, andvery neatly and simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not thesmallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just overher head made her look up in a great hurry. an enormous puppy was looking down at herwith large round eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touchher. 'poor little thing!' said alice, in acoaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened allthe time at the thought that it might be
hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all hercoaxing. hardly knowing what she did, she picked upa little bit of stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped intothe air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then alicedodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run over; and the momentshe appeared on the other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold ofit; then alice, thinking it was very like
having a game of play with a cart-horse,and expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then the puppy began a series ofshort charges at the stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a longway back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging outof its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. this seemed to alice a good opportunity formaking her escape; so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out ofbreath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
'and yet what a dear little puppy it was!'said alice, as she leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fannedherself with one of the leaves: 'i should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if i'd only been the right size to doit! oh dear!i'd nearly forgotten that i've got to grow up again! let me see--how is it to be managed?i suppose i ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'the great question certainly was, what? alice looked all round her at the flowersand the blades of grass, but she did not
see anything that looked like the rightthing to eat or drink under the circumstances. there was a large mushroom growing nearher, about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under it, and on bothsides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and seewhat was on the top of it. she stretched herself up on tiptoe, andpeeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a largecaterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallestnotice of her or of anything else.
chapter v. advice from a caterpillar the caterpillar and alice looked at eachother for some time in silence: at last the caterpillar took the hookah out of itsmouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 'who are you?' said the caterpillar.this was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. alice replied, rather shyly, 'i--i hardlyknow, sir, just at present--at least i know who i was when i got up this morning, but ithink i must have been changed several times since then.'
'what do you mean by that?' said thecaterpillar sternly. 'explain yourself!' 'i can't explain myself, i'm afraid, sir'said alice, 'because i'm not myself, you see.''i don't see,' said the caterpillar. 'i'm afraid i can't put it more clearly,'alice replied very politely, 'for i can't understand it myself to begin with; andbeing so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.' 'it isn't,' said the caterpillar. 'well, perhaps you haven't found it soyet,' said alice; 'but when you have to
turn into a chrysalis--you will some day,you know--and then after that into a butterfly, i should think you'll feel it alittle queer, won't you?' 'not a bit,' said the caterpillar. 'well, perhaps your feelings may bedifferent,' said alice; 'all i know is, it would feel very queer to me.''you!' said the caterpillar contemptuously. 'who are you?' which brought them back again to thebeginning of the conversation. alice felt a little irritated at thecaterpillar's making such very short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,very gravely, 'i think, you ought to tell
me who you are, first.' 'why?' said the caterpillar. here was another puzzling question; and asalice could not think of any good reason, and as the caterpillar seemed to be in avery unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. 'come back!' the caterpillar called afterher. 'i've something important to say!'this sounded promising, certainly: alice turned and came back again. 'keep your temper,' said the caterpillar.'is that all?' said alice, swallowing down
her anger as well as she could.'no,' said the caterpillar. alice thought she might as well wait, asshe had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worthhearing. for some minutes it puffed away withoutspeaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, andsaid, 'so you think you're changed, do you?' 'i'm afraid i am, sir,' said alice; 'ican't remember things as i used--and i don't keep the same size for ten minutestogether!' 'can't remember what things?' said thecaterpillar.
'well, i've tried to say "how doth thelittle busy bee," but it all came different!' alice replied in a very melancholy voice.'repeat, "you are old, father william,"' said the caterpillar. alice folded her hands, and began:--'you are old, father william,' the young man said,'and your hair has become very white; and yet you incessantlystand on your head-- do you think, at your age, it is right?' 'in my youth,' father williamreplied to his son,
i feared it might injure the brain; but, now that i'm perfectly surei have none, why, i do it again and again.' 'you are old,' said the youth,'as i mentioned before, and have grown most uncommonly fat; yet you turned a back-somersaultin at the door-- pray, what is the reason of that?' 'in my youth,' said the sage,as he shook his grey locks, 'i kept all my limbs very supple
by the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- allow me to sell you a couple?' 'you are old,' said the youth,'and your jaws are too weak for anything tougher than suet; yet you finished the goose,with the bones and the beak-- pray how did you manage to do it?' 'in my youth,' said his father,'i took to the law, and argued each case with my wife; and the muscular strength,which it gave to my jaw,
has lasted the rest of my life.' 'you are old,' said the youth,'one would hardly suppose that your eye was as steady as ever; yet you balanced an eelon the end of your nose-- what made you so awfully clever?' 'i have answered three questions,and that is enough,' said his father;'don't give yourself airs! do you think i can listenall day to such stuff? be off, or i'll kick youdown stairs!'
'that is not said right,' said thecaterpillar. 'not quite right, i'm afraid,' said alice,timidly; 'some of the words have got altered.' 'it is wrong from beginning to end,' saidthe caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.the caterpillar was the first to speak. 'what size do you want to be?' it asked. 'oh, i'm not particular as to size,' alicehastily replied; 'only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.''i don't know,' said the caterpillar. alice said nothing: she had never been somuch contradicted in her life before, and
she felt that she was losing her temper.'are you content now?' said the caterpillar. 'well, i should like to be a little larger,sir, if you wouldn't mind,' said alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height tobe.' 'it is a very good height indeed!' said thecaterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three incheshigh). 'but i'm not used to it!' pleaded pooralice in a piteous tone. and she thought of herself, 'i wish thecreatures wouldn't be so easily offended!' 'you'll get used to it in time,' said thecaterpillar; and it put the hookah into its
mouth and began smoking again.this time alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. in a minute or two the caterpillar took thehookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. then it got down off the mushroom, andcrawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, 'one side will make you growtaller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.' 'one side of what?the other side of what?' thought alice to herself.
'of the mushroom,' said the caterpillar,just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. alice remained looking thoughtfully at themushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as itwas perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. however, at last she stretched her armsround it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. 'and now which is which?' she said toherself, and nibbled a little of the right- hand bit to try the effect: the next momentshe felt a violent blow underneath her
chin: it had struck her foot! she was a good deal frightened by this verysudden change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinkingrapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. her chin was pressed so closely against herfoot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, andmanaged to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. 'come, my head's free at last!' said alicein a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she foundthat her shoulders were nowhere to be
found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, whichseemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.'what can all that green stuff be?' said alice. 'and where have my shoulders got to?and oh, my poor hands, how is it i can't see you?' she was moving them about as she spoke, butno result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. as there seemed to be no chance of gettingher hands up to her head, she tried to get
her head down to them, and was delighted tofind that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. she had just succeeded in curving it downinto a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she foundto be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: alarge pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.'serpent!' screamed the pigeon. 'i'm not a serpent!' said aliceindignantly. 'let me alone!'
'serpent, i say again!' repeated thepigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, 'i've tried everyway, and nothing seems to suit them!' 'i haven't the least idea what you'retalking about,' said alice. 'i've tried the roots of trees, and i'vetried banks, and i've tried hedges,' the pigeon went on, without attending to her;'but those serpents! there's no pleasing them!' alice was more and more puzzled, but shethought there was no use in saying anything more till the pigeon had finished. 'as if it wasn't trouble enough hatchingthe eggs,' said the pigeon; 'but i must be
on the look-out for serpents night and day!why, i haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' 'i'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' saidalice, who was beginning to see its meaning. 'and just as i'd taken the highest tree inthe wood,' continued the pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as i wasthinking i should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down fromthe sky! ugh, serpent!''but i'm not a serpent, i tell you!' said 'i'm a--i'm a--''well!
what are you?' said the pigeon.'i can see you're trying to invent something!' 'i--i'm a little girl,' said alice, ratherdoubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.'a likely story indeed!' said the pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. 'i've seen a good many little girls in mytime, but never one with such a neck as that!no, no! you're a serpent; and there's no usedenying it. i suppose you'll be telling me next thatyou never tasted an egg!'
'i have tasted eggs, certainly,' saidalice, who was a very truthful child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much asserpents do, you know.' 'i don't believe it,' said the pigeon; 'butif they do, why then they're a kind of serpent, that's all i can say.' this was such a new idea to alice, that shewas quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the pigeon the opportunity of adding,'you're looking for eggs, i know that well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?' 'it matters a good deal to me,' said alicehastily; 'but i'm not looking for eggs, as
it happens; and if i was, i shouldn't wantyours: i don't like them raw.' 'well, be off, then!' said the pigeon in asulky tone, as it settled down again into its nest. alice crouched down among the trees as wellas she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every nowand then she had to stop and untwist it. after a while she remembered that she stillheld the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully,nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeededin bringing herself down to her usual
height. it was so long since she had been anythingnear the right size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it ina few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. 'come, there's half my plan done now!how puzzling all these changes are! i'm never sure what i'm going to be, fromone minute to another! however, i've got back to my right size:the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how is that to be done, iwonder?' as she said this, she came suddenly upon anopen place, with a little house in it about
four feet high. 'whoever lives there,' thought alice,'it'll never do to come upon them this size: why, i should frighten them out oftheir wits!' so she began nibbling at the righthand bitagain, and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down tonine inches high. chapter vi. pig and pepper for a minute or two she stood looking atthe house, and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery camerunning out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in
livery: otherwise, judging by his faceonly, she would have called him a fish)-- and rapped loudly at the door with hisknuckles. it was opened by another footman in livery,with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, alice noticed, hadpowdered hair that curled all over their heads. she felt very curious to know what it wasall about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. the fish-footman began by producing fromunder his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed overto the other, saying, in a solemn tone,
'for the duchess. an invitation from the queen to playcroquet.' the frog-footman repeated, in the samesolemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little, 'from the queen. an invitation for the duchess to playcroquet.' then they both bowed low, and their curlsgot entangled together. alice laughed so much at this, that she hadto run back into the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped outthe fish-footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the door,staring stupidly up into the sky.
alice went timidly up to the door, andknocked. 'there's no sort of use in knocking,' saidthe footman, 'and that for two reasons. first, because i'm on the same side of thedoor as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one couldpossibly hear you.' and certainly there was a mostextraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and everynow and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces. 'please, then,' said alice, 'how am i toget in?' 'there might be some sense in yourknocking,' the footman went on without
attending to her, 'if we had the doorbetween us. for instance, if you were inside, you mightknock, and i could let you out, you know.' he was looking up into the sky all the timehe was speaking, and this alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'but perhaps he can't help it,' she said toherself; 'his eyes are so very nearly at the top of his head.but at any rate he might answer questions. --how am i to get in?' she repeated, aloud. 'i shall sit here,' the footman remarked,'till tomorrow--' at this moment the door of the houseopened, and a large plate came skimming
out, straight at the footman's head: itjust grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. '--or next day, maybe,' the footmancontinued in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened.'how am i to get in?' asked alice again, in a louder tone. 'are you to get in at all?' said thefootman. 'that's the first question, you know.'it was, no doubt: only alice did not like to be told so. 'it's really dreadful,' she muttered toherself, 'the way all the creatures argue.
it's enough to drive one crazy!' the footman seemed to think this a goodopportunity for repeating his remark, with variations.'i shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for days and days.' 'but what am i to do?' said alice.'anything you like,' said the footman, and began whistling. 'oh, there's no use in talking to him,'said alice desperately: 'he's perfectly idiotic!'and she opened the door and went in. the door led right into a large kitchen,which was full of smoke from one end to the
other: the duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed tobe full of soup. 'there's certainly too much pepper in thatsoup!' alice said to herself, as well as she couldfor sneezing. there was certainly too much of it in theair. even the duchess sneezed occasionally; andas for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment'spause. the only things in the kitchen that did notsneeze, were the cook, and a large cat
which was sitting on the hearth andgrinning from ear to ear. 'please would you tell me,' said alice, alittle timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her tospeak first, 'why your cat grins like that?' 'it's a cheshire cat,' said the duchess,'and that's why. pig!' she said the last word with such suddenviolence that alice quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressedto the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
'i didn't know that cheshire cats alwaysgrinned; in fact, i didn't know that cats could grin.''they all can,' said the duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' 'i don't know of any that do,' alice saidvery politely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.'you don't know much,' said the duchess; 'and that's a fact.' alice did not at all like the tone of thisremark, and thought it would be as well to introduce some other subject ofconversation. while she was trying to fix on one, thecook took the cauldron of soup off the
fire, and at once set to work throwingeverything within her reach at the duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,plates, and dishes. the duchess took no notice of them evenwhen they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it was quiteimpossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 'oh, please mind what you're doing!' criedalice, jumping up and down in an agony of terror. 'oh, there goes his precious nose'; as anunusually large saucepan flew close by it,
and very nearly carried it off. 'if everybody minded their own business,'the duchess said in a hoarse growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than itdoes.' 'which would not be an advantage,' saidalice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of herknowledge. 'just think of what work it would make withthe day and night! you see the earth takes twenty-four hoursto turn round on its axis--' 'talking of axes,' said the duchess, 'chopoff her head!' alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook,to see if she meant to take the hint; but
the cook was busily stirring the soup, andseemed not to be listening, so she went on again: 'twenty-four hours, i think; or isit twelve? i--''oh, don't bother me,' said the duchess; 'i never could abide figures!' and with that she began nursing her childagain, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shakeat the end of every line: 'speak roughly to your little boy,and beat him when he sneezes: he only does it to annoy,because he knows it teases.' chorus.(in which the cook and the baby joined):
'wow! wow! wow!' while the duchess sang the second verse ofthe song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor littlething howled so, that alice could hardly hear the words:-- 'i speak severely to my boy,i beat him when he sneezes; for he can thoroughly enjoythe pepper when he pleases!' chorus.'wow! wow! wow!' 'here! you may nurse it a bit, if youlike!' the duchess said to alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke.
'i must go and get ready to play croquetwith the queen,' and she hurried out of the room.the cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. alice caught the baby with some difficulty,as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in alldirections, 'just like a star-fish,' thought alice. the poor little thing was snorting like asteam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening itselfout again, so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much as shecould do to hold it.
as soon as she had made out the proper wayof nursing it, (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tighthold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carriedit out into the open air. 'if i don't take this child away with me,'thought alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder toleave it behind?' she said the last words out loud, and thelittle thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).'don't grunt,' said alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself.' the baby grunted again, and alice lookedvery anxiously into its face to see what
was the matter with it. there could be no doubt that it had a veryturn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were gettingextremely small for a baby: altogether alice did not like the look of the thing atall. 'but perhaps it was only sobbing,' shethought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. no, there were no tears.'if you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' said alice, seriously, 'i'll havenothing more to do with you. mind now!'
the poor little thing sobbed again (orgrunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for some while in silence. alice was just beginning to think toherself, 'now, what am i to do with this creature when i get it home?' when itgrunted again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some alarm. this time there could be no mistake aboutit: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quiteabsurd for her to carry it further. so she set the little creature down, andfelt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood.
'if it had grown up,' she said to herself,'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig,i think.' and she began thinking over other childrenshe knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying to herself, 'if oneonly knew the right way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing the cheshire cat sitting on a bough of atree a few yards off. the cat only grinned when it saw alice. it looked good-natured, she thought: stillit had very long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to betreated with respect.
'cheshire puss,' she began, rather timidly,as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned alittle wider. 'come, it's pleased so far,' thought alice,and she went on. 'would you tell me, please, which way iought to go from here?' 'that depends a good deal on where you wantto get to,' said the cat. 'i don't much care where--' said alice.'then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the cat. '--so long as i get somewhere,' alice addedas an explanation. 'oh, you're sure to do that,' said the cat,'if you only walk long enough.'
alice felt that this could not be denied,so she tried another question. 'what sort of people live about here?' 'in that direction,' the cat said, wavingits right paw round, 'lives a hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw,'lives a march hare. visit either you like: they're both mad.' 'but i don't want to go among mad people,'alice remarked. 'oh, you can't help that,' said the cat:'we're all mad here. i'm mad. you're mad.''how do you know i'm mad?' said alice.
'you must be,' said the cat, 'or youwouldn't have come here.' alice didn't think that proved it at all;however, she went on 'and how do you know that you're mad?''to begin with,' said the cat, 'a dog's not mad. you grant that?''i suppose so,' said alice. 'well, then,' the cat went on, 'you see, adog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. now i growl when i'm pleased, and wag mytail when i'm angry. therefore i'm mad.''i call it purring, not growling,' said
'call it what you like,' said the cat.'do you play croquet with the queen to- day?''i should like it very much,' said alice, 'but i haven't been invited yet.' 'you'll see me there,' said the cat, andvanished. alice was not much surprised at this, shewas getting so used to queer things happening. while she was looking at the place where ithad been, it suddenly appeared again. 'by-the-bye, what became of the baby?' saidthe cat. 'i'd nearly forgotten to ask.'
'it turned into a pig,' alice quietly said,just as if it had come back in a natural way.'i thought it would,' said the cat, and vanished again. alice waited a little, half expecting tosee it again, but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in thedirection in which the march hare was said to live. 'i've seen hatters before,' she said toherself; 'the march hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this ismay it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in march.'
as she said this, she looked up, and therewas the cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.'did you say pig, or fig?' said the cat. 'i said pig,' replied alice; 'and i wishyou wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' 'all right,' said the cat; and this time itvanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin,which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 'well!i've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought alice; 'but a grin without a cat!it's the most curious thing i ever saw in
my life!' she had not gone much farther before shecame in sight of the house of the march hare: she thought it must be the righthouse, because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched withfur. it was so large a house, that she did notlike to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, andraised herself to about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself 'suppose itshould be raving mad after all! i almost wish i'd gone to see the hatterinstead!'
chapter vii. a mad tea-party there was a table set out under a tree infront of the house, and the march hare and the hatter were having tea at it: adormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, andtalking over its head. 'very uncomfortable for the dormouse,'thought alice; 'only, as it's asleep, i suppose it doesn't mind.' the table was a large one, but the threewere all crowded together at one corner of it: 'no room!no room!' they cried out when they saw
alice coming. 'there's plenty of room!' said aliceindignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.'have some wine,' the march hare said in an encouraging tone. alice looked all round the table, but therewas nothing on it but tea. 'i don't see any wine,' she remarked.'there isn't any,' said the march hare. 'then it wasn't very civil of you to offerit,' said alice angrily. 'it wasn't very civil of you to sit downwithout being invited,' said the march hare.
'i didn't know it was your table,' saidalice; 'it's laid for a great many more than three.''your hair wants cutting,' said the hatter. he had been looking at alice for some timewith great curiosity, and this was his first speech. 'you should learn not to make personalremarks,' alice said with some severity; 'it's very rude.' the hatter opened his eyes very wide onhearing this; but all he said was, 'why is a raven like a writing-desk?''come, we shall have some fun now!' thought 'i'm glad they've begun asking riddles.--i believe i can guess that,' she added
aloud.'do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the march hare. 'exactly so,' said alice.'then you should say what you mean,' the march hare went on. 'i do,' alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least i mean what i say--that's the same thing, you know.''not the same thing a bit!' said the hatter. 'you might just as well say that "i seewhat i eat" is the same thing as "i eat what i see"!'
'you might just as well say,' added themarch hare, 'that "i like what i get" is the same thing as "i get what i like"!' 'you might just as well say,' added thedormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, 'that "i breathe when i sleep" isthe same thing as "i sleep when i breathe"!' 'it is the same thing with you,' said thehatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,while alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks,which wasn't much. the hatter was the first to break thesilence.
'what day of the month is it?' he said,turning to alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at ituneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. alice considered a little, and then said'the fourth.' 'two days wrong!' sighed the hatter. 'i told you butter wouldn't suit theworks!' he added looking angrily at the march hare.'it was the best butter,' the march hare meekly replied. 'yes, but some crumbs must have got in aswell,' the hatter grumbled: 'you shouldn't
have put it in with the bread-knife.' the march hare took the watch and looked atit gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but hecould think of nothing better to say than his first remark, 'it was the best butter,you know.' alice had been looking over his shoulderwith some curiosity. 'what a funny watch!' she remarked. 'it tells the day of the month, and doesn'ttell what o'clock it is!' 'why should it?' muttered the hatter.'does your watch tell you what year it is?' 'of course not,' alice replied veryreadily: 'but that's because it stays the
same year for such a long time together.''which is just the case with mine,' said the hatter. alice felt dreadfully puzzled.the hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainlyenglish. 'i don't quite understand you,' she said,as politely as she could. 'the dormouse is asleep again,' said thehatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose. the dormouse shook its head impatiently,and said, without opening its eyes, 'of course, of course; just what i was going toremark myself.'
'have you guessed the riddle yet?' thehatter said, turning to alice again. 'no, i give it up,' alice replied: 'what'sthe answer?' 'i haven't the slightest idea,' said thehatter. 'nor i,' said the march hare.alice sighed wearily. 'i think you might do something better withthe time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' 'if you knew time as well as i do,' saidthe hatter, 'you wouldn't talk about wasting it.it's him.' 'i don't know what you mean,' said alice.
'of course you don't!' the hatter said,tossing his head contemptuously. 'i dare say you never even spoke to time!' 'perhaps not,' alice cautiously replied:'but i know i have to beat time when i learn music.''ah! that accounts for it,' said the 'he won't stand beating.now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked withthe clock. for instance, suppose it were nine o'clockin the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to time,and round goes the clock in a twinkling! half-past one, time for dinner!'
('i only wish it was,' the march hare saidto itself in a whisper.) 'that would be grand, certainly,' saidalice thoughtfully: 'but then--i shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' 'not at first, perhaps,' said the hatter:'but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.''is that the way you manage?' alice asked. the hatter shook his head mournfully.'not i!' he replied. 'we quarrelled last march--just before hewent mad, you know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the march hare,) '--it was atthe great concert given by the queen of
hearts, and i had to sing "twinkle, twinkle, little bat!how i wonder what you're at!" you know the song, perhaps?''i've heard something like it,' said alice. 'it goes on, you know,' the hattercontinued, 'in this way:-- "up above the world you fly,like a tea-tray in the sky. twinkle, twinkle--"' here the dormouse shook itself, and begansinging in its sleep 'twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so longthat they had to pinch it to make it stop. 'well, i'd hardly finished the firstverse,' said the hatter, 'when the queen
jumped up and bawled out, "he's murderingthe time! off with his head!"' 'how dreadfully savage!' exclaimed alice.'and ever since that,' the hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't do a thing iask! it's always six o'clock now.' a bright idea came into alice's head.'is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?' she asked. 'yes, that's it,' said the hatter with asigh: 'it's always tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.''then you keep moving round, i suppose?'
said alice. 'exactly so,' said the hatter: 'as thethings get used up.' 'but what happens when you come to thebeginning again?' alice ventured to ask. 'suppose we change the subject,' the marchhare interrupted, yawning. 'i'm getting tired of this.i vote the young lady tells us a story.' 'i'm afraid i don't know one,' said alice,rather alarmed at the proposal. 'then the dormouse shall!' they both cried.'wake up, dormouse!' and they pinched it on both sides at once.
the dormouse slowly opened his eyes.'i wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: 'i heard every word youfellows were saying.' 'tell us a story!' said the march hare. 'yes, please do!' pleaded alice.'and be quick about it,' added the hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again before it'sdone.' 'once upon a time there were three littlesisters,' the dormouse began in a great hurry; 'and their names were elsie, lacie,and tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' 'what did they live on?' said alice, whoalways took a great interest in questions
of eating and drinking.'they lived on treacle,' said the dormouse, after thinking a minute or two. 'they couldn't have done that, you know,'alice gently remarked; 'they'd have been ill.''so they were,' said the dormouse; 'very ill.' alice tried to fancy to herself what suchan extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so shewent on: 'but why did they live at the bottom of a well?' 'take some more tea,' the march hare saidto alice, very earnestly.
'i've had nothing yet,' alice replied in anoffended tone, 'so i can't take more.' 'you mean you can't take less,' said thehatter: 'it's very easy to take more than nothing.''nobody asked your opinion,' said alice. 'who's making personal remarks now?' thehatter asked triumphantly. alice did not quite know what to say tothis: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to thedormouse, and repeated her question. 'why did they live at the bottom of awell?' the dormouse again took a minute or two tothink about it, and then said, 'it was a treacle-well.'
'there's no such thing!' alice was beginning very angrily, but thehatter and the march hare went 'sh! sh!' and the dormouse sulkily remarked, 'if youcan't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.' 'no, please go on!'alice said very humbly; 'i won't interrupt again.i dare say there may be one.' 'one, indeed!' said the dormouseindignantly. however, he consented to go on.'and so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--'
'what did they draw?' said alice, quiteforgetting her promise. 'treacle,' said the dormouse, withoutconsidering at all this time. 'i want a clean cup,' interrupted thehatter: 'let's all move one place on.' he moved on as he spoke, and the dormousefollowed him: the march hare moved into the dormouse's place, and alice ratherunwillingly took the place of the march the hatter was the only one who got anyadvantage from the change: and alice was a good deal worse off than before, as themarch hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. alice did not wish to offend the dormouseagain, so she began very cautiously: 'but i
don't understand.where did they draw the treacle from?' 'you can draw water out of a water-well,'said the hatter; 'so i should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' 'but they were in the well,' alice said tothe dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.'of course they were', said the dormouse; '--well in.' this answer so confused poor alice, thatshe let the dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it. 'they were learning to draw,' the dormousewent on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for
it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drewall manner of things--everything that begins with an m--' 'why with an m?' said alice.'why not?' said the march hare. alice was silent. the dormouse had closed its eyes by thistime, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the hatter, it woke upagain with a little shriek, and went on: '- -that begins with an m, such as mouse- traps, and the moon, and memory, andmuchness--you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such athing as a drawing of a muchness?'
'really, now you ask me,' said alice, verymuch confused, 'i don't think--' 'then you shouldn't talk,' said the hatter. this piece of rudeness was more than alicecould bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the dormouse fell asleepinstantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping thatthey would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put thedormouse into the teapot. 'at any rate i'll never go there again!'said alice as she picked her way through the wood.'it's the stupidest tea-party i ever was at
in all my life!' just as she said this, she noticed that oneof the trees had a door leading right into it.'that's very curious!' she thought. 'but everything's curious today. i think i may as well go in at once.'and in she went. once more she found herself in the longhall, and close to the little glass table. 'now, i'll manage better this time,' shesaid to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the doorthat led into the garden. then she went to work nibbling at themushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her
pocket) till she was about a foot high:then she walked down the little passage: and then--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains. chapter viii. the queen's croquet-grounda large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it werewhite, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. alice thought this a very curious thing,and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one ofthem say, 'look out now, five! don't go splashing paint over me likethat!'
'i couldn't help it,' said five, in a sulkytone; 'seven jogged my elbow.' on which seven looked up and said, 'that'sright, five! always lay the blame on others!''you'd better not talk!' said five. 'i heard the queen say only yesterday youdeserved to be beheaded!' 'what for?' said the one who had spokenfirst. 'that's none of your business, two!' saidseven. 'yes, it is his business!' said five, 'andi'll tell him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' seven flung down his brush, and had justbegun 'well, of all the unjust things--'
when his eye chanced to fall upon alice, asshe stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked roundalso, and all of them bowed low. 'would you tell me,' said alice, a littletimidly, 'why you are painting those roses?' five and seven said nothing, but looked attwo. two began in a low voice, 'why the fact is,you see, miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one inby mistake; and if the queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off,you know. so you see, miss, we're doing our best,afore she comes, to--' at this moment five,
who had been anxiously looking across thegarden, called out 'the queen! the queen!' and the three gardenersinstantly threw themselves flat upon their faces.there was a sound of many footsteps, and alice looked round, eager to see the queen. first came ten soldiers carrying clubs;these were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with theirhands and feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, asthe soldiers did. after these came the royal children; therewere ten of them, and the little dears came
jumping merrily along hand in hand, incouples: they were all ornamented with hearts. next came the guests, mostly kings andqueens, and among them alice recognised the white rabbit: it was talking in a hurriednervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing her. then followed the knave of hearts, carryingthe king's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grandprocession, came the king and queen of hearts. alice was rather doubtful whether she oughtnot to lie down on her face like the three
gardeners, but she could not remember everhaving heard of such a rule at processions; 'and besides, what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, 'if people hadall to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see it?'so she stood still where she was, and waited. when the procession came opposite to alice,they all stopped and looked at her, and the queen said severely 'who is this?'she said it to the knave of hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 'idiot!' said the queen, tossing her headimpatiently; and, turning to alice, she
went on, 'what's your name, child?' 'my name is alice, so please your majesty,'said alice very politely; but she added, to herself, 'why, they're only a pack ofcards, after all. i needn't be afraid of them!' 'and who are these?' said the queen,pointing to the three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, asthey were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tellwhether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.'how should i know?' said alice, surprised
at her own courage. 'it's no business of mine.'the queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like awild beast, screamed 'off with her head! off--' 'nonsense!' said alice, very loudly anddecidedly, and the queen was silent. the king laid his hand upon her arm, andtimidly said 'consider, my dear: she is only a child!' the queen turned angrily away from him, andsaid to the knave 'turn them over!' the knave did so, very carefully, with onefoot.
'get up!' said the queen, in a shrill, loudvoice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the king,the queen, the royal children, and everybody else. 'leave off that!' screamed the queen.'you make me giddy.' and then, turning to the rose-tree, shewent on, 'what have you been doing here?' 'may it please your majesty,' said two, ina very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--''i see!' said the queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. 'off with their heads!' and the processionmoved on, three of the soldiers remaining
behind to execute the unfortunategardeners, who ran to alice for protection. 'you shan't be beheaded!' said alice, andshe put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. the three soldiers wandered about for aminute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.'are their heads off?' shouted the queen. 'their heads are gone, if it please yourmajesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply. 'that's right!' shouted the queen.'can you play croquet?' the soldiers were silent, and looked atalice, as the question was evidently meant for her.'yes!' shouted alice.
'come on, then!' roared the queen, andalice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next.'it's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. she was walking by the white rabbit, whowas peeping anxiously into her face. 'very,' said alice: '--where's theduchess?' 'hush! hush!' said the rabbit in a low, hurriedtone. he looked anxiously over his shoulder as hespoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, andwhispered 'she's under sentence of
execution.' 'what for?' said alice.'did you say "what a pity!" ?' the rabbit asked.'no, i didn't,' said alice: 'i don't think it's at all a pity. i said "what for?"''she boxed the queen's ears--' the rabbit began.alice gave a little scream of laughter. 'oh, hush!' the rabbit whispered in afrightened tone. 'the queen will hear you!you see, she came rather late, and the queen said--'
'get to your places!' shouted the queen ina voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumblingup against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and thegame began. alice thought she had never seen such acurious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were livehedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, tomake the arches. the chief difficulty alice found at firstwas in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,comfortably enough, under her arm, with its
legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightenedout, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itselfround and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had gotits head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find thatthe hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrowin the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-upsoldiers were always getting up and walking
off to other parts of the ground, alice soon came to the conclusion that it was avery difficult game indeed. the players all played at once withoutwaiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; andin a very short time the queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting 'off with his head!' or 'offwith her head!' about once in a minute. alice began to feel very uneasy: to besure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the queen, but she knew that it mighthappen any minute, 'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of me?
they're dreadfully fond of beheading peoplehere; the great wonder is, that there's any one left alive!' she was looking about for some way ofescape, and wondering whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed acurious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be agrin, and she said to herself 'it's the cheshire cat: now i shall have somebody totalk to.' 'how are you getting on?' said the cat, assoon as there was mouth enough for it to speak with.alice waited till the eyes appeared, and
then nodded. 'it's no use speaking to it,' she thought,'till its ears have come, or at least one of them.' in another minute the whole head appeared,and then alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling veryglad she had someone to listen to her. the cat seemed to think that there wasenough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared. 'i don't think they play at all fairly,'alice began, in rather a complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully onecan't hear oneself speak--and they don't
seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends tothem--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; forinstance, there's the arch i've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground--and i should have croquetedthe queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!''how do you like the queen?' said the cat in a low voice. 'not at all,' said alice: 'she's soextremely--' just then she noticed that the queen was close behind her, listening: soshe went on, '--likely to win, that it's
hardly worth while finishing the game.' the queen smiled and passed on.'who are you talking to?' said the king, going up to alice, and looking at the cat'shead with great curiosity. 'it's a friend of mine--a cheshire cat,'said alice: 'allow me to introduce it.' 'i don't like the look of it at all,' saidthe king: 'however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.' 'i'd rather not,' the cat remarked.'don't be impertinent,' said the king, 'and don't look at me like that!'he got behind alice as he spoke. 'a cat may look at a king,' said alice.
'i've read that in some book, but i don'tremember where.' 'well, it must be removed,' said the kingvery decidedly, and he called the queen, who was passing at the moment, 'my dear! i wish you would have this cat removed!'the queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small.'off with his head!' she said, without even looking round. 'i'll fetch the executioner myself,' saidthe king eagerly, and he hurried off. alice thought she might as well go back,and see how the game was going on, as she heard the queen's voice in the distance,screaming with passion.
she had already heard her sentence three ofthe players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not likethe look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knewwhether it was her turn or not. so she went in search of her hedgehog. the hedgehog was engaged in a fight withanother hedgehog, which seemed to alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one ofthem with the other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where alicecould see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree.
by the time she had caught the flamingo andbrought it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 'butit doesn't matter much,' thought alice, 'as all the arches are gone from this side ofthe ground.' so she tucked it away under her arm, thatit might not escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with herfriend. when she got back to the cheshire cat, shewas surprised to find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a disputegoing on between the executioner, the king, and the queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,and looked very uncomfortable.
the moment alice appeared, she was appealedto by all three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make outexactly what they said. the executioner's argument was, that youcouldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had neverhad to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at his time of life. the king's argument was, that anything thathad a head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. the queen's argument was, that if somethingwasn't done about it in less than no time
she'd have everybody executed, all round.(it was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) alice could think of nothing else to saybut 'it belongs to the duchess: you'd better ask her about it.''she's in prison,' the queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.' and the executioner went off like an arrow. the cat's head began fading away the momenthe was gone, and, by the time he had come back with the duchess, it had entirelydisappeared; so the king and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking
for it, while the rest of the party wentback to the game. chapter ix. the mock turtle's story 'you can't think how glad i am to see youagain, you dear old thing!' said the duchess, as she tucked her armaffectionately into alice's, and they walked off together. alice was very glad to find her in such apleasant temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper thathad made her so savage when they met in the kitchen. 'when i'm a duchess,' she said to herself,(not in a very hopeful tone though), 'i
won't have any pepper in my kitchen at all. soup does very well without--maybe it'salways pepper that makes people hot- tempered,' she went on, very much pleasedat having found out a new kind of rule, 'and vinegar that makes them sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--andbarley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-tempered.i only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know--' she had quite forgotten the duchess by thistime, and was a little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.'you're thinking about something, my dear,
and that makes you forget to talk. i can't tell you just now what the moral ofthat is, but i shall remember it in a bit.' 'perhaps it hasn't one,' alice ventured toremark. 'tut, tut, child!' said the duchess. 'everything's got a moral, if only you canfind it.' and she squeezed herself up closer toalice's side as she spoke. alice did not much like keeping so close toher: first, because the duchess was very ugly; and secondly, because she was exactlythe right height to rest her chin upon alice's shoulder, and it was anuncomfortably sharp chin.
however, she did not like to be rude, soshe bore it as well as she could. 'the game's going on rather better now,'she said, by way of keeping up the conversation a little. ''tis so,' said the duchess: 'and the moralof that is--"oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' 'somebody said,' alice whispered, 'thatit's done by everybody minding their own business!''ah, well! it means much the same thing,' said theduchess, digging her sharp little chin into alice's shoulder as she added, 'and themoral of that is--"take care of the sense,
and the sounds will take care ofthemselves."' 'how fond she is of finding morals inthings!' alice thought to herself. 'i dare say you're wondering why i don'tput my arm round your waist,' the duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, thati'm doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. shall i try the experiment?''he might bite,' alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have theexperiment tried. 'very true,' said the duchess: 'flamingoesand mustard both bite.
and the moral of that is--"birds of afeather flock together."' 'only mustard isn't a bird,' aliceremarked. 'right, as usual,' said the duchess: 'whata clear way you have of putting things!' 'it's a mineral, i think,' said alice. 'of course it is,' said the duchess, whoseemed ready to agree to everything that alice said; 'there's a large mustard-minenear here. and the moral of that is--"the more thereis of mine, the less there is of yours."' 'oh, i know!' exclaimed alice, who had notattended to this last remark, 'it's a vegetable.
it doesn't look like one, but it is.' 'i quite agree with you,' said the duchess;'and the moral of that is--"be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it putmore simply--"never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might havebeen was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to beotherwise."' 'i think i should understand that better,'alice said very politely, 'if i had it written down: but i can't quite follow itas you say it.' 'that's nothing to what i could say if ichose,' the duchess replied, in a pleased
tone.'pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said alice. 'oh, don't talk about trouble!' said theduchess. 'i make you a present of everything i'vesaid as yet.' 'a cheap sort of present!' thought alice. 'i'm glad they don't give birthday presentslike that!' but she did not venture to say it out loud.'thinking again?' the duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin. 'i've a right to think,' said alicesharply, for she was beginning to feel a
little worried.'just about as much right,' said the duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and the m--' but here, to alice's great surprise, theduchess's voice died away, even in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' andthe arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. alice looked up, and there stood the queenin front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.'a fine day, your majesty!' the duchess began in a low, weak voice. 'now, i give you fair warning,' shouted thequeen, stamping on the ground as she spoke;
'either you or your head must be off, andthat in about half no time! take your choice!' the duchess took her choice, and was gonein a moment. 'let's go on with the game,' the queen saidto alice; and alice was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her backto the croquet-ground. the other guests had taken advantage of thequeen's absence, and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,they hurried back to the game, the queen merely remarking that a moment's delaywould cost them their lives. all the time they were playing the queennever left off quarrelling with the other
players, and shouting 'off with his head!'or 'off with her head!' those whom she sentenced were taken intocustody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, sothat by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the king, the queen, and alice, werein custody and under sentence of execution. then the queen left off, quite out ofbreath, and said to alice, 'have you seen the mock turtle yet?' 'no,' said alice.'i don't even know what a mock turtle is.' 'it's the thing mock turtle soup is madefrom,' said the queen.
'i never saw one, or heard of one,' saidalice. 'come on, then,' said the queen, 'and heshall tell you his history,' as they walked off together, alice heardthe king say in a low voice, to the company generally, 'you are all pardoned.' 'come, that's a good thing!' she said toherself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the queen hadordered. they very soon came upon a gryphon, lyingfast asleep in the sun. (if you don't know what a gryphon is, lookat the picture.) 'up, lazy thing!' said the queen, 'and takethis young lady to see the mock turtle, and
to hear his history. i must go back and see after someexecutions i have ordered'; and she walked off, leaving alice alone with the gryphon. alice did not quite like the look of thecreature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it asto go after that savage queen: so she the gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes:then it watched the queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled.'what fun!' said the gryphon, half to itself, half to alice. 'what is the fun?' said alice.'why, she,' said the gryphon.
'it's all her fancy, that: they neverexecutes nobody, you know. come on!' 'everybody says "come on!" here,' thoughtalice, as she went slowly after it: 'i never was so ordered about in all my life,never!' they had not gone far before they saw themock turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,as they came nearer, alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. she pitied him deeply. 'what is his sorrow?' she asked thegryphon, and the gryphon answered, very
nearly in the same words as before, 'it'sall his fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. come on!'so they went up to the mock turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full oftears, but said nothing. 'this here young lady,' said the gryphon,'she wants for to know your history, she do.' 'i'll tell it her,' said the mock turtle ina deep, hollow tone: 'sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till i'vefinished.' so they sat down, and nobody spoke for someminutes.
alice thought to herself, 'i don't see howhe can even finish, if he doesn't begin.' but she waited patiently. 'once,' said the mock turtle at last, witha deep sigh, 'i was a real turtle.' these words were followed by a very longsilence, broken only by an occasional exclamation of 'hjckrrh!' from the gryphon,and the constant heavy sobbing of the mock turtle. alice was very nearly getting up andsaying, 'thank you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she could not helpthinking there must be more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.
'when we were little,' the mock turtle wenton at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went toschool in the sea. the master was an old turtle--we used tocall him tortoise--' 'why did you call him tortoise, if hewasn't one?' 'we called him tortoise because he taughtus,' said the mock turtle angrily: 'really you are very dull!' 'you ought to be ashamed of yourself forasking such a simple question,' added the gryphon; and then they both sat silent andlooked at poor alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth.
at last the gryphon said to the mockturtle, 'drive on, old fellow! don't be all day about it!' and he went onin these words: 'yes, we went to school in the sea, thoughyou mayn't believe it--' 'i never said i didn't!' interrupted alice.'you did,' said the mock turtle. 'hold your tongue!' added the gryphon,before alice could speak again. the mock turtle went on.'we had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--' 'i've been to a day-school, too,' saidalice; 'you needn't be so proud as all that.''with extras?' asked the mock turtle a
little anxiously. 'yes,' said alice, 'we learned french andmusic.' 'and washing?' said the mock turtle.'certainly not!' said alice indignantly. 'ah! then yours wasn't a really goodschool,' said the mock turtle in a tone of great relief.'now at ours they had at the end of the bill, "french, music, and washing--extra."' 'you couldn't have wanted it much,' saidalice; 'living at the bottom of the sea.' 'i couldn't afford to learn it.' said themock turtle with a sigh. 'i only took the regular course.'
'what was that?' inquired alice. 'reeling and writhing, of course, to beginwith,' the mock turtle replied; 'and then the different branches of arithmetic--ambition, distraction, uglification, and derision.' 'i never heard of "uglification,"' aliceventured to say. 'what is it?'the gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'what!never heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'you know what to beautify is, i suppose?''yes,' said alice doubtfully: 'it means--
to--make--anything--prettier.' 'well, then,' the gryphon went on, 'if youdon't know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton.' alice did not feel encouraged to ask anymore questions about it, so she turned to the mock turtle, and said 'what else hadyou to learn?' 'well, there was mystery,' the mock turtlereplied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, '--mystery, ancient and modern,with seaography: then drawling--the drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a week: he taught usdrawling, stretching, and fainting in
coils.''what was that like?' said alice. 'well, i can't show it you myself,' themock turtle said: 'i'm too stiff. and the gryphon never learnt it.''hadn't time,' said the gryphon: 'i went to the classics master, though. he was an old crab, he was.''i never went to him,' the mock turtle said with a sigh: 'he taught laughing and grief,they used to say.' 'so he did, so he did,' said the gryphon,sighing in his turn; and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. 'and how many hours a day did you dolessons?' said alice, in a hurry to change
the subject.'ten hours the first day,' said the mock turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.' 'what a curious plan!' exclaimed alice.'that's the reason they're called lessons,' the gryphon remarked: 'because they lessenfrom day to day.' this was quite a new idea to alice, and shethought it over a little before she made her next remark.'then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?' 'of course it was,' said the mock turtle.'and how did you manage on the twelfth?' alice went on eagerly.
'that's enough about lessons,' the gryphoninterrupted in a very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.' chapter x. the lobster quadrillethe mock turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes.he looked at alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. 'same as if he had a bone in his throat,'said the gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in the back. at last the mock turtle recovered hisvoice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on again:--
'you may not have lived much under the sea--' ('i haven't,' said alice)--'and perhaps you were never even introduced to alobster--' (alice began to say 'i once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and said 'no, never') '--so you can have noidea what a delightful thing a lobster quadrille is!''no, indeed,' said alice. 'what sort of a dance is it?' 'why,' said the gryphon, 'you first forminto a line along the sea-shore--' 'two lines!' cried the mock turtle. 'seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then,when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out
of the way--''that generally takes some time,' interrupted the gryphon. '--you advance twice--''each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the gryphon.'of course,' the mock turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners--' '--change lobsters, and retire in sameorder,' continued the gryphon. 'then, you know,' the mock turtle went on,'you throw the--' 'the lobsters!' shouted the gryphon, with abound into the air. '--as far out to sea as you can--''swim after them!' screamed the gryphon.
'turn a somersault in the sea!' cried themock turtle, capering wildly about. 'change lobsters again!' yelled the gryphonat the top of its voice. 'back to land again, and that's all thefirst figure,' said the mock turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the twocreatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked atalice. 'it must be a very pretty dance,' saidalice timidly. 'would you like to see a little of it?'said the mock turtle. 'very much indeed,' said alice.'come, let's try the first figure!' said
the mock turtle to the gryphon. 'we can do without lobsters, you know.which shall sing?' 'oh, you sing,' said the gryphon.'i've forgotten the words.' so they began solemnly dancing round andround alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, andwaving their forepaws to mark the time, while the mock turtle sang this, veryslowly and sadly:-- '"will you walk a little faster?" said awhiting to a snail. "there's a porpoise close behind us, andhe's treading on my tail. see how eagerly the lobsters and theturtles all advance!
they are waiting on the shingle--will youcome and join the dance? will you, won't you, will you, won't you,will you join the dance? will you, won't you, will you, won't you,won't you join the dance? "you can really have no notion howdelightful it will be when they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out tosea!" but the snail replied "too far, too far!"and gave a look askance-- said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not jointhe dance. would not, could not, would not, couldnot, would not join the dance. would not, could not, would not, could not,could not join the dance.
'"what matters it how far we go?" hisscaly friend replied. "there is another shore, you know, upon theother side. the further off from england the nearer isto france-- then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. will you, won't you, will you, won't you,won't you join the dance?"' 'thank you, it's a very interesting danceto watch,' said alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: 'and i do so likethat curious song about the whiting!' 'oh, as to the whiting,' said the mockturtle, 'they--you've seen them, of course?''yes,' said alice, 'i've often seen them at
dinn--' she checked herself hastily. 'i don't know where dinn may be,' said themock turtle, 'but if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they'relike.' 'i believe so,' alice replied thoughtfully. 'they have their tails in their mouths--andthey're all over crumbs.' 'you're wrong about the crumbs,' said themock turtle: 'crumbs would all wash off in the sea. but they have their tails in their mouths;and the reason is--' here the mock turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--'tell her about the reason and all that,'
he said to the gryphon. 'the reason is,' said the gryphon, 'thatthey would go with the lobsters to the dance.so they got thrown out to sea. so they had to fall a long way. so they got their tails fast in theirmouths. so they couldn't get them out again.that's all.' 'thank you,' said alice, 'it's veryinteresting. i never knew so much about a whitingbefore.' 'i can tell you more than that, if youlike,' said the gryphon.
'do you know why it's called a whiting?''i never thought about it,' said alice. 'why?' 'it does the boots and shoes.' the gryphonreplied very solemnly. alice was thoroughly puzzled.'does the boots and shoes!' she repeated in a wondering tone. 'why, what are your shoes done with?' saidthe gryphon. 'i mean, what makes them so shiny?'alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer. 'they're done with blacking, i believe.''boots and shoes under the sea,' the
gryphon went on in a deep voice, 'are donewith a whiting. now you know.' 'and what are they made of?'alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. 'soles and eels, of course,' the gryphonreplied rather impatiently: 'any shrimp could have told you that.' 'if i'd been the whiting,' said alice,whose thoughts were still running on the song, 'i'd have said to the porpoise, "keepback, please: we don't want you with us!"' 'they were obliged to have him with them,'the mock turtle said: 'no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.''wouldn't it really?' said alice in a tone
of great surprise. 'of course not,' said the mock turtle:'why, if a fish came to me, and told me he was going a journey, i should say "withwhat porpoise?"' 'don't you mean "purpose"?' said alice. 'i mean what i say,' the mock turtlereplied in an offended tone. and the gryphon added 'come, let's hearsome of your adventures.' 'i could tell you my adventures--beginningfrom this morning,' said alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back toyesterday, because i was a different person then.'
'explain all that,' said the mock turtle.'no, no! the adventures first,' said the gryphon inan impatient tone: 'explanations take such a dreadful time.' so alice began telling them her adventuresfrom the time when she first saw the white rabbit. she was a little nervous about it just atfirst, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened theireyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage as she went on. her listeners were perfectly quiet till shegot to the part about her repeating 'you
are old, father william,' to thecaterpillar, and the words all coming different, and then the mock turtle drew a long breath, and said 'that's verycurious.' 'it's all about as curious as it can be,'said the gryphon. 'it all came different!' the mock turtlerepeated thoughtfully. 'i should like to hear her try and repeatsomething now. tell her to begin.' he looked at the gryphon as if he thoughtit had some kind of authority over alice. 'stand up and repeat "'tis the voice of thesluggard,"' said the gryphon.
'how the creatures order one about, andmake one repeat lessons!' thought alice; 'i might as well be at school at once.' however, she got up, and began to repeatit, but her head was so full of the lobster quadrille, that she hardly knew what shewas saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-- ''tis the voice of the lobster;i heard him declare, "you have baked me too brown,i must sugar my hair." as a duck with its eyelids,so he with his nose trims his belt and his buttons,and turns out his toes.'
[later editions continued as followswhen the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,and will talk in contemptuous tones of the shark, but, when the tide risesand sharks are around, his voice has a timidand tremulous sound.] 'that's different from what i used to saywhen i was a child,' said the gryphon. 'well, i never heard it before,' said themock turtle; 'but it sounds uncommon nonsense.' alice said nothing; she had sat down withher face in her hands, wondering if
anything would ever happen in a natural wayagain. 'i should like to have it explained,' saidthe mock turtle. 'she can't explain it,' said the gryphonhastily. 'go on with the next verse.' 'but about his toes?' the mock turtlepersisted. 'how could he turn them out with his nose,you know?' 'it's the first position in dancing.' alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled bythe whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
'go on with the next verse,' the gryphonrepeated impatiently: 'it begins "i passed by his garden."' alice did not dare to disobey, though shefelt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- 'i passed by his garden,and marked, with one eye, how the owl and the pantherwere sharing a pie--' [later editions continued as followsthe panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,while the owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
when the pie was all finished,the owl, as a boon, was kindly permittedto pocket the spoon: while the panther received knifeand fork with a growl, and concluded the banquet--] 'what is the use of repeating all thatstuff,' the mock turtle interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on?it's by far the most confusing thing i ever heard!' 'yes, i think you'd better leave off,' saidthe gryphon: and alice was only too glad to do so.'shall we try another figure of the lobster
quadrille?' the gryphon went on. 'or would you like the mock turtle to singyou a song?' 'oh, a song, please, if the mock turtlewould be so kind,' alice replied, so eagerly that the gryphon said, in a ratheroffended tone, 'hm! no accounting for tastes! sing her "turtle soup," will you, oldfellow?' the mock turtle sighed deeply, and began,in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this:-- 'beautiful soup, so rich and green,waiting in a hot tureen!
who for such dainties would not stoop?soup of the evening, beautiful soup! soup of the evening, beautiful soup! beau--ootiful soo--oop!beau--ootiful soo--oop! soo--oop of the e--e--evening,beautiful, beautiful soup! 'beautiful soup!who cares for fish, game, or any other dish?who would not give all else for two pennyworth only of beautiful soup? soo--oop of the e--e--evening,beautiful, beauti--ful soup!' 'chorus again!' cried the gryphon, and themock turtle had just begun to repeat it,
when a cry of 'the trial's beginning!' washeard in the distance. 'come on!' cried the gryphon, and, takingalice by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.'what trial is it?' alice panted as she ran; but the gryphononly answered 'come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came,carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:-- 'soo--oop of the e--e--evening,beautiful, beautiful soup!' chapter xi. who stole the tarts? the king and queen of hearts were seated ontheir throne when they arrived, with a
great crowd assembled about them--all sortsof little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier oneach side to guard him; and near the king was the white rabbit, with a trumpet in onehand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. in the very middle of the court was atable, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made alicequite hungry to look at them--'i wish they'd get the trial done,' she thought,'and hand round the refreshments!' but there seemed to be no chance of this,so she began looking at everything about
her, to pass away the time. alice had never been in a court of justicebefore, but she had read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to findthat she knew the name of nearly everything 'that's the judge,' she said to herself,'because of his great wig.' the judge, by the way, was the king; and ashe wore his crown over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how hedid it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly notbecoming. 'and that's the jury-box,' thought alice,'and those twelve creatures,' (she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see,because some of them were animals, and some
were birds,) 'i suppose they are thejurors.' she said this last word two or three timesover to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that veryfew little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. however, 'jury-men' would have done just aswell. the twelve jurors were all writing verybusily on slates. 'what are they doing?' alice whispered to the gryphon.'they can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'
'they're putting down their names,' thegryphon whispered in reply, 'for fear they should forget them before the end of thetrial.' 'stupid things!' alice began in a loud, indignant voice, butshe stopped hastily, for the white rabbit cried out, 'silence in the court!' and theking put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who wastalking. alice could see, as well as if she werelooking over their shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!'on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to
spell 'stupid,' and that he had to ask hisneighbour to tell him. 'a nice muddle their slates'll be in beforethe trial's over!' thought alice. one of the jurors had a pencil thatsqueaked. this of course, alice could not stand, andshe went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity oftaking it away. she did it so quickly that the poor littlejuror (it was bill, the lizard) could not make out at all what had become of it; so,after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of verylittle use, as it left no mark on the
slate.'herald, read the accusation!' said the king. on this the white rabbit blew three blastson the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- 'the queen of hearts,she madesome tarts,all on a summer day: the knave of hearts,he stolethose tarts,and took them quite away!' 'consider your verdict,' the king said tothe jury. 'not yet, not yet!' the rabbit hastilyinterrupted. 'there's a great deal to come before that!'
'call the first witness,' said the king;and the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'firstwitness!' the first witness was the hatter. he came in with a teacup in one hand and apiece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'i beg pardon, your majesty,' he began,'for bringing these in: but i hadn't quite finished my tea when i was sent for.' 'you ought to have finished,' said theking. 'when did you begin?' the hatter looked at the march hare, whohad followed him into the court, arm-in-arm
with the dormouse.'fourteenth of march, i think it was,' he said. 'fifteenth,' said the march hare.'sixteenth,' added the dormouse. 'write that down,' the king said to thejury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then addedthem up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 'take off your hat,' the king said to thehatter. 'it isn't mine,' said the hatter. 'stolen!' the king exclaimed, turning tothe jury, who instantly made a memorandum
of the fact.'i keep them to sell,' the hatter added as an explanation; 'i've none of my own. i'm a hatter.'here the queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the hatter, who turnedpale and fidgeted. 'give your evidence,' said the king; 'anddon't be nervous, or i'll have you executed on the spot.' this did not seem to encourage the witnessat all: he kept shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the queen,and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.
just at this moment alice felt a verycurious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: shewas beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts shedecided to remain where she was as long as there was room for her.'i wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the dormouse, who was sitting next to her. 'i can hardly breathe.''i can't help it,' said alice very meekly: 'i'm growing.''you've no right to grow here,' said the dormouse.
'don't talk nonsense,' said alice moreboldly: 'you know you're growing too.' 'yes, but i grow at a reasonable pace,'said the dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous fashion.' and he got up very sulkily and crossed overto the other side of the court. all this time the queen had never left offstaring at the hatter, and, just as the dormouse crossed the court, she said to oneof the officers of the court, 'bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched hatter trembled so,that he shook both his shoes off. 'give your evidence,' the king repeatedangrily, 'or i'll have you executed,
whether you're nervous or not.' 'i'm a poor man, your majesty,' the hatterbegan, in a trembling voice, '--and i hadn't begun my tea--not above a week orso--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of thetea--' 'the twinkling of the what?' said the king.'it began with the tea,' the hatter replied. 'of course twinkling begins with a t!' saidthe king sharply. 'do you take me for a dunce?go on!' 'i'm a poor man,' the hatter went on, 'andmost things twinkled after that--only the
march hare said--''i didn't!' the march hare interrupted in a great hurry. 'you did!' said the hatter.'i deny it!' said the march hare. 'he denies it,' said the king: 'leave outthat part.' 'well, at any rate, the dormouse said--'the hatter went on, looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but thedormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. 'after that,' continued the hatter, 'i cutsome more bread-and-butter--' 'but what did the dormouse say?' one of thejury asked. 'that i can't remember,' said the hatter.
'you must remember,' remarked the king, 'ori'll have you executed.' the miserable hatter dropped his teacup andbread-and-butter, and went down on one knee. 'i'm a poor man, your majesty,' he began.'you're a very poor speaker,' said the here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, andwas immediately suppressed by the officers of the court.(as that is rather a hard word, i will just explain to you how it was done. they had a large canvas bag, which tied upat the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, andthen sat upon it.)
'i'm glad i've seen that done,' thoughtalice. 'i've so often read in the newspapers, atthe end of trials, "there was some attempts at applause, which was immediatelysuppressed by the officers of the court," and i never understood what it meant tillnow.' 'if that's all you know about it, you maystand down,' continued the king. 'i can't go no lower,' said the hatter:'i'm on the floor, as it is.' 'then you may sit down,' the king replied.here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. 'come, that finished the guinea-pigs!'thought alice.
'now we shall get on better.' 'i'd rather finish my tea,' said thehatter, with an anxious look at the queen, who was reading the list of singers. 'you may go,' said the king, and the hatterhurriedly left the court, without even waiting to put his shoes on. '--and just take his head off outside,' thequeen added to one of the officers: but the hatter was out of sight before the officercould get to the door. 'call the next witness!' said the king. the next witness was the duchess's cook.she carried the pepper-box in her hand, and
alice guessed who it was, even before shegot into the court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. 'give your evidence,' said the king.'shan't,' said the cook. the king looked anxiously at the whiterabbit, who said in a low voice, 'your majesty must cross-examine this witness.' 'well, if i must, i must,' the king said,with a melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till hiseyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'what are tarts made of?' 'pepper, mostly,' said the cook.'treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.
'collar that dormouse,' the queen shriekedout. 'behead that dormouse! turn that dormouse out of court!suppress him! pinch him!off with his whiskers!' for some minutes the whole court was inconfusion, getting the dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled downagain, the cook had disappeared. 'never mind!' said the king, with an air ofgreat relief. 'call the next witness.' and he added in an undertone to the queen,'really, my dear, you must cross-examine
the next witness.it quite makes my forehead ache!' alice watched the white rabbit as hefumbled over the list, feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,'--for they haven't got much evidence yet,' she said to herself. imagine her surprise, when the white rabbitread out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the name 'alice!' chapter xii. alice's evidence 'here!' cried alice, quite forgetting inthe flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and shejumped up in such a hurry that she tipped
over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to theheads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her verymuch of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before. 'oh, i beg your pardon!' she exclaimed in atone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, forthe accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at onceand put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
'the trial cannot proceed,' said the kingin a very grave voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--all,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at alice as he said do. alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that,in her haste, she had put the lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thingwas waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. she soon got it out again, and put itright; 'not that it signifies much,' she said to herself; 'i should think it wouldbe quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'
as soon as the jury had a little recoveredfrom the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found andhanded back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the lizard, who seemedtoo much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into theroof of the court. 'what do you know about this business?' theking said to alice. 'nothing,' said alice.'nothing whatever?' persisted the king. 'nothing whatever,' said alice. 'that's very important,' the king said,turning to the jury.
they were just beginning to write this downon their slates, when the white rabbit interrupted: 'unimportant, your majestymeans, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and makingfaces at him as he spoke. 'unimportant, of course, i meant,' the kinghastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, 'important--unimportant--unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' alice could see this, as she was nearenough to look over their slates; 'but it
doesn't matter a bit,' she thought toherself. at this moment the king, who had been forsome time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out 'silence!' and read out fromhis book, 'rule forty-two. all persons more than a mile high to leavethe court.' everybody looked at alice.'i'm not a mile high,' said alice. 'you are,' said the king. 'nearly two miles high,' added the queen.'well, i shan't go, at any rate,' said alice: 'besides, that's not a regular rule:you invented it just now.' 'it's the oldest rule in the book,' saidthe king.
'then it ought to be number one,' saidalice. the king turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'consider your verdict,' he said to thejury, in a low, trembling voice. 'there's more evidence to come yet, pleaseyour majesty,' said the white rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paperhas just been picked up.' 'what's in it?' said the queen. 'i haven't opened it yet,' said the whiterabbit, 'but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' 'it must have been that,' said the king,'unless it was written to nobody, which
isn't usual, you know.''who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. 'it isn't directed at all,' said the whiterabbit; 'in fact, there's nothing written on the outside.' he unfolded the paper as he spoke, andadded 'it isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.''are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen. 'no, they're not,' said the white rabbit,'and that's the queerest thing about it.' (the jury all looked puzzled.)'he must have imitated somebody else's
hand,' said the king. (the jury all brightened up again.)'please your majesty,' said the knave, 'i didn't write it, and they can't prove idid: there's no name signed at the end.' 'if you didn't sign it,' said the king,'that only makes the matter worse. you must have meant some mischief, or elseyou'd have signed your name like an honest man.' there was a general clapping of hands atthis: it was the first really clever thing the king had said that day.'that proves his guilt,' said the queen. 'it proves nothing of the sort!' saidalice.
'why, you don't even know what they'reabout!' 'read them,' said the king. the white rabbit put on his spectacles.'where shall i begin, please your majesty?' he asked. 'begin at the beginning,' the king saidgravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'these were the verses the white rabbit read:-- 'they told me you had been to her,and mentioned me to him: she gave me a good character,but said i could not swim.
he sent them word i had not gone(we know it to be true): if she should push the matter on,what would become of you? i gave her one, they gave him two,you gave us three or more; they all returned from him to you,though they were mine before. if i or she should chance to beinvolved in this affair, he trusts to you to set them free,exactly as we were. my notion was that you had been(before she had this fit) an obstacle that came betweenhim, and ourselves, and it. don't let him know she liked them best,for this must ever be
a secret, kept from all the rest,between yourself and me.' 'that's the most important piece ofevidence we've heard yet,' said the king, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--' 'if any one of them can explain it,' saidalice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid ofinterrupting him,) 'i'll give him sixpence. _i_ don't believe there's an atom ofmeaning in it.' the jury all wrote down on their slates,'she doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attemptedto explain the paper. 'if there's no meaning in it,' said theking, 'that saves a world of trouble, you
know, as we needn't try to find any. and yet i don't know,' he went on,spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'i seem tosee some meaning in them, after all. "--said i could not swim--" you can't swim,can you?' he added, turning to the knave. the knave shook his head sadly.'do i look like it?' he said. (which he certainly did not, being madeentirely of cardboard.) 'all right, so far,' said the king, and hewent on muttering over the verses to himself: '"we know it to be true--" that'sthe jury, of course--"i gave her one, they gave him two--" why, that must be what hedid with the tarts, you know--'
'but, it goes on "they all returned fromhim to you,"' said alice. 'why, there they are!' said the kingtriumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table.'nothing can be clearer than that. then again--"before she had this fit--" younever had fits, my dear, i think?' he said to the queen.'never!' said the queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the lizard as she spoke. (the unfortunate little bill had left offwriting on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastilybegan again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as itlasted.)
'then the words don't fit you,' said theking, looking round the court with a smile. there was a dead silence. 'it's a pun!' the king added in an offendedtone, and everybody laughed, 'let the jury consider their verdict,' the king said, forabout the twentieth time that day. 'no, no!' said the queen. 'sentence first--verdict afterwards.''stuff and nonsense!' said alice loudly. 'the idea of having the sentence first!''hold your tongue!' said the queen, turning purple. 'i won't!' said alice.'off with her head!' the queen shouted at
the top of her voice.nobody moved. 'who cares for you?' said alice, (she hadgrown to her full size by this time.) 'you're nothing but a pack of cards!' at this the whole pack rose up into theair, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright andhalf of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who wasgently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon herface. 'wake up, alice dear!' said her sister;'why, what a long sleep you've had!'
'oh, i've had such a curious dream!' saidalice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strangeadventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'it was acurious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' so alice got up and ran off, thinking whileshe ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. but her sister sat still just as she lefther, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of littlealice and all her wonderful adventures,
till she too began dreaming after afashion, and this was her dream:-- first, she dreamed of little alice herself,and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyeswere looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep backthe wandering hair that would always get into her eyes--and still as she listened,or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures ofher little sister's dream. the long grass rustled at her feet as thewhite rabbit hurried by--the frightened mouse splashed his way through theneighbouring pool--she could hear the
rattle of the teacups as the march hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,and the shrill voice of the queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once more the shriek ofthe gryphon, the squeaking of the lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of thesuppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of themiserable mock turtle. so she sat on, with closed eyes, and halfbelieved herself in wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, andall would change to dull reality--the grass
would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the queen'sshrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the gryphon, and all the other queernoises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the mockturtle's heavy sobs. lastly, she pictured to herself how thissame little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; andhow she would keep, through all her riper
years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather abouther other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strangetale, perhaps even with the dream of wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, andfind a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and thehappy summer days. the end